So, why is it that we’re so afraid to actually trust others? What is it that holds us back? Is it really that the people in our lives, our peers, our subordinates, or our partners in our personal lives are that un-trustworthy? In actuality, time and time again, people rise to the challenge. They want to succeed. They desire to perform and “do what’s right.”
Let me ask the question again? “Is it really that the people in our lives, our peers, our subordinates, or our partners are that untrustworthy?”
I coach a lot of people, both in the professional realm and in more of a “life coach” capacity (although I hate that term!). And in the vast majority of situations in which trust is an issue…..the real issue isn’t the other person, but rather the ability of the “trustee” to trust others. More to the point, it’s overwhelmingly a case of the “trustee” lacking innate trust in themselves that translates to a perceptual “untrustworthiness” in others.
I’m going to reveal something here about myself….going to go out on a limb (something difficult for all of us to do). I’m guilty of just the same thing. Numerous times in my life, instead of taking personal accountability for my own weaknesses, missed opportunities, or mistakes, I’ve also pointed the finger toward others and proclaimed the “untrustworthy” label upon them. Don’t get me wrong….sometimes it’s been wholly justified! But I’d be a fool to pretend that in many instances, I wasn’t merely trying to deflect attention from my own failings.
You see, it’s easy to say you trust others. In fact, it’s the politically correct thing to say in all too many situations! But if you say it without truly believing it, well, “doom on you!”
Trust isn’t simply a word to be thrown around for the political expediency of the moment. In order to be authentic, trust engenders an comprehensive acknowledgement of our own insecurities and weaknesses.
So, can you do that? Are you truly able to trust?